Your Will Father

When we came home from the hospital, I clipped my nails super short. Brayden had tested positive for MRSA colonization in his nose, which is common for the average person, but nonetheless something to approach with caution with such a large open wound. With how often we washed our hands to care for him or change his incision dressings, my nails seemed like a hot bed for germs. So off they went. Later that day, I tried to scratch my head and found no relief.

I looked down the other day and noticed a sliver of white on the tips of my nails. It’s the small things that make you feel normalcy returning like a slowly awakening dawn–walking into a Starbucks after 5 weeks of hibernation, putting on eye shadow, giving my sweet baby a real bath (no more cold sponge baths!), sending my devoted husband off to golf, sending a “yes” RSVP to a party, talking to someone at the grocery store who wants to say hello to our joyful Brayden.

It feels incredible to enjoy the simple pleasures. As much as 5 weeks of intentional isolation was difficult, it also felt special to band together as a family; to just have God and each other. Blake, Kelly & Brayden. The three musketeers. I’ll always look back on this time with fondness. During some of the darkest days, we felt the Lord carry us more tangibly than ever before. With an empty calendar, I connected with Blake in a deeper and more meaningful way. In the quiet, we bonded more deeply with Brayden, more easily learning his needs during the simplicity of our days. Sometimes when you have less, you have more.

Once I heard a Priscilla Shirer bible study where she talked about a pastor who spent half of his time in Africa and half of his time in America. He was astounded by the power and movement of the Holy Spirit in Africa, and the lack thereof in America. He would witness one miracle after another, then return home to astounding normalcy. He attributed Africa’s thriving spiritual awakening to their moment by moment reliance on the Lord. They hunger, they pray. I hunger, I walk to my overly full refrigerator. They’re sick, they pray. I’m sick, I call my doctor. God is providing in both circumstances, but in abundance it’s easy to forget that it is God who gives, feeds and heals. Priscilla noted how we pray to see God working, to witness His miracles. Then in the next sentence I cry, “But don’t put me in any uncomfortable, pressing situation where I need a miracle Lord!” Yet in God’s goodness, He gives what I need to be refined and prepared for His kingdom, according to His perfect will.

I’m slowly surrendering to the power of:

Your kingdom come.
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.